When Kids Cooperate

By Rae Pica

 

Given a choice, preschoolers prefer cooperative activities to competitive ones. Alfie Kohn, in No Contest: The Case Against Competition, identifies a great deal of research demonstrating cooperation’s positive effects on both social and emotional development. He says cooperation:

• is more conducive to psychological health.

• leads to friendlier feelings among participants.

• promotes a feeling of being in control of one’s life.

• increases self-esteem.

When children are given the chance to work together toward a solution or common goal—whether creating a game or building a human pyramid—they know they each contribute to the success of the venture. Each child realizes he or she plays a vital role in the outcome, and each accepts the responsibility of fulfilling that role. They also learn to become tolerant of others’ ideas and to accept the similarities and differences of other children. Furthermore, cooperative activities seldom cause the feelings of inferiority that can result from the comparisons made during competition.

Unlike competition, which research shows can foster antisocial behavior, cooperation has been determined to promote social behaviors. Steve Grineski, author of Cooperative Learning in Physical Education, says the social skills needed for cooperative learning include such things as expressing enjoyment in the success of others, resolving conflict and demonstrating the ability to criticize ideas, not individuals.

Nature or Nurture?

Is the drive to compete human nature, as is commonly believed or is it learned? One study indicates gender identify, which is typically established by the age of 3, plays a role in whether children are naturally cooperative or competitive. Preschool girls, according to the study, are cooperative, caring, and supportive of one another when learning new movement skills.

Preschool boys, on the other hand, are interested in how well they perform and in how their abilities compare to those of their classmates. However, the study further indicates the differences in the boys’ and girls’ behavior may indeed be dictated by society and culture, as Asian preschoolers of both genders tended to be cooperative and supportive.

 

About Cooperative Games

Terry Orlick, author of The Second Cooperative Sports and Games Book, has long been a proponent of cooperative games. He writes that games can be “a beautiful way to bring people together. However, if you distort children’s play by rewarding excessive competition, physical aggression against others, cheating, and unfair play, you distort children’s lives.”

On the other hand, about cooperative games, he says the concept is simple: “People play with one another rather than against one another; they play to overcome challenges, not to overcome other people.”

 

Rae Pica is a children's physical activity specialist and the author of A Running Start: How Play, Physical Activity, and Free Time Create a Successful Child. She is also the co-creator and host of “Body, Mind and Child.”

Activity-Books.com offers a huge selection of activities for every child's interest and age group. 

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Parenting

Learning to OBSERVE YOUR CHILD
By Tim Seldin

As parents we often feel the need to direct our children, but Maria Montessori, who founded the method of Montessori teaching, believed we should learn from what our children are doing instead. How much time do you spend watching your child? I don’t mean watching half-heartedly while you are doing something else. I mean focusing your attention completely on your child for an extended period of time.

There is no better way to begin using Montessori’s principles in your home than by sitting back and observing what your child is looking at, what he says, and what he does. Children have so much to teach us about their needs and interests if we will only take the time to pay attention.

How to observe

You may want to keep a bound notebook or journal in which you can make notes and keep a record of your observations. Regularly set aside some time to observe you child. Sit somewhere comfortable close to him so that you can easily see and hear him and any other children with whom he is playing. Make notes every so often about what you see. Over time, your notes will form an interesting record of your child’s behavior at different ages, as well as helping you to notice if a pattern of behavior is emerging at a particular time. Try to interpret what your child’s behavior means. When you notice that your child displays an interest in something new, try, without overwhelming him, to nurture it. Think about ways to introduce some new activities that will appeal to your child’s activities and achievements.

What to observe

Remember, the only thing that you can count on day after day with children is that, as they grow, their preferences, interests, and abilities change in unpredictable ways. Every time you observe your child, try to forget about previous experiences or perceptions and focus on what is really happening right now. While your child is playing, notice which toys he selects. How does he use them? Does he tend to play alone, or with others? Do you notice any patterns over time?

Watch how your child moves about the house. Does he move from place to place quietly, moving gracefully, or does he race about? Is there a room in your home that your child prefers to be in? What seems to attract him to that room?

When eating, note what your child most enjoys. Can he drink without spilling and use a fork and spoon appropriately and with good eye-hand coordination? How does your child behave at mealtimes? Is this a time when he likes to talk about his day?    

As you observe, think twice before you interfere with your child’s activity. Your goal in this exercise is to learn from what he is doing, not to keep jumping up and correcting him. And the better you know your child the closer you will be with him or her.  

Tim Seldin is president of The Montessori Foundation and chair of The International Montessori Council.

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